Burlap Soul

Here we go boys and girls...

The moving truck is reserved for tomorrow morning at 8am and as I type this, J. is disassembling the desk and removing the printer and speakers. Some last minute things to pack tomorrow (like you know... all of our dishes. oops.) and then we'll be on our way to Northern Kentucky for the next year of our lives.
Hopefully this time next year, I'll be packing yet again (with degree in hand!), but instead preparing for a move somewhere closer to the ocean, maybe towards the east coast while embarking on a new chapter in my life - working girl. But that's all a long way off. For now, I'm going to make the best of my home state and this last year here. And for right now, I'm going to try my best to enjoy this move and not stress out. (hahahahaaaaaaa, yeah riiiight, Staz. Right.)

We'll see what happens. What I do know is that even though we'll have cable hooked up in the new place by Tuesday, we may not have a modem for a little while yet (we have to give our current one back to Roadrunner). So my online presence may be scarce and I may not be able to check my domain email. So if you need me, you know where to find me, right?

Who would've thought that a simple move to a smaller place 30 minutes south would be so damn much work? Wish us luck!!! We'll certainly need it!

Ciao! :-)

You know what really, really, really, really pisses me off? When you have had a U-Haul truck sitting in front of your house since 8am this morning and you've already packed all of your dishes, clothes and even toilet paper and you've already switched over all the utilities for the new place and scheduled the shut off of your current utilities with the next 24 hours and you've already confirmed that August 1st is your official move-in date and your future landlord has already told you "you can bring your bed and stay the night because that is your official move-in date" and you've basically got nothing left to do but load up the truck with your stuff and start taking the necessary trips to get everything moved into the new place and then this happens:

It's noon on Sunday and your new landlord has not called you back since Thursday, he hasn't returned the 147 calls that you've made to him at all three available phone numbers and as a result, you not only have no contact or knowledge of his whereabouts, but you still have no fucking keys. We cannot move until we hear from him and I'm really, really fucking pissed off. And we must get moved tonight because J. will have the car tomorrow and he will be working (he can't take any more days off for this - he's already stretching it thin at work).
This is fucking ridiculous. I cannot explain how irritated I am right now. Even if there's been an emergency, someone should have called us or met us with the keys. Something. Letting us know what's going on is just a simple courtesy here, people. This shit is just not cool with me at. all.
Grrrrrrrrr!

Livid. Livid. Livid. Livid. Livid. Livid. Livid. Livid.

I am fucking livid. Too angry, upset, crying and chaotic for me to explain.

The basic jist of it all?
We have no new place.

And we just now found out at 2pm on the day we are supposed to get the damn keys and officially move in.

There's been a U-Haul truck parked at our curb with our furniture in it since 8am this morning.
Our silverware is even packed.
Everything we own is in a box or a storage facility.
We've switched over all the utilities.
We spent our entire Friday at the DMV getting new licenses with our new address on them.
We have new Kentucky plates on the car.

But yet we have no. new. place.

Mother. Fucker.

This is just.. my god. This just does not compute. I'll explain later when I can make more sense.
Right now, we have an empty and unused U-Haul truck to return.
Also, J. has promised me Panera and fresh air. I'm taking it.
That's just... that's all I can say for now.

You know what's really fun? Trying to find your daily medication in this. (Notice how even the cats looked pissed - oh wait. Jekyll always looks like that.)

Okay, I'm going to try and explain this whole fiasco as calmly as possible. Every time I start thinking about it, I can feel my blood pressure rising and all I want to do is cry (because I'm too tired and exhausted from packing and carrying my shit to get angry anymore). This will come in chunks so that I don't ruin my mood completely. Mostly, we're just in complete and utter shock still... so this may babble (as you can already see). Pardon me.

It's long, but here goes....

Thanks so much to everyone for all the good thoughts and advice. It makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not alone in my anger.. and I'm feeling those good vibes and prayers and using them for all they're worth. Keep 'em comin, ok?

We got the utilities switched back with some phone calls on Monday and we also got our mail stopped. So that's not a problem. The only thing now is do we wait for this awesome condo at a great price in a great place? Or do we end up moving twice (once to my mom's out in the middle of nowhere without true running water and then again to a new place) and go through all of the searching hassle again?

I start school in 3 weeks and we really wanted a vacation in September, so we're still really in limbo about what we should do here. We don't want to be searching/calling/making deposits again when I'm starting my last year of school and we really wanted to be done with this by now. We're tired of all the packing and the exhausting technical details (like the DMV, etc). I've basically just been sitting around the house in my pajamas..lost. My adrenaline has been so focused on this move and I don't do so well with sudden stops.

So far, we are being Masters of the Guilt Trip with Shawn and he seems to be really scrambling to kiss our asses. So we'll see what happens. Hey, we've got two weeks to think about it, right? Heh. (God, that's not even funny is it?)
Right now, I just wish I didn't have keep eating off of paper plates with no silverware.

Believe it or not, I totally did these on time on Monday. However, it's taken me 2 days to just sit down and upload everything from the camera. Go figure.

My camera is one of the few things that is not packed and it's still bringing me joy when I need it, so...
I'm bringing back Photogitives. Feel free to participate! (or save some up and do it next monday or whenever.. because you know, sharing the love would make me feel better here. hint. hint. ;-)

Here goes:

The memories are all coming to the surface tonight. There are so many to choose from and so many to write about.
But it's not as though the memories are absolutely shouting inside my head in a destructive way (as they usually are). It's more of a let's-get-this-shit-done-and-out so I can get the hell on with my life sort of way. I'm thinking that alone is a good thing.

So whether or not the memory blog gets updated tonight, I'm not sure. I'm tired and it's been a long, emotional day already. But I can be positive that something will show up there very soon. My hippocampus feels painfully pregnant.

Note:

Holy Shit!
Rick James just died.
What the hell?

Damn.

God... I don't know how to do this. Every time I think of it, I start crying. Okay.. Here goes:

Wow.. I didn't think I would ever finish this, but...

All of our kitties are now officially registered on Catster. :-)

Yes, all of them... including:

Raven, Ghost, Guinness, Jekyll, and Buddy.

Oh, and don't forget that Gypsy has a page as well.. but on Dogster of course. And we even gave a page to our beloved friend, Boomhaur.
Enjoy!

Thank you to everyone that has commented and sent well wishes regarding Boomer's passing. I've often sat here and read all of those comments again and again and just cried and cried. You have no idea what those words meant to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For a dog that we had for only 2 weeks, I never imagined it would be this hard.

There's a good chance that our internet will stop working either late tonight or Thursday morning sometime. We're scheduled to pick up the keys from the new landlord on Friday night and then we'll be spending the entire weekend getting moved into the new place. I'm not sure exactly when our internet will be hooked up in the condo (monday, I think?).. but you can be sure I'll be posting as soon as that happens. (Of course, after our last fiasco, all of this is said with my fingers crossed and without holding my breath. Cross your fingers too, ok?)

I'm thinking that I need the little computer break anyway. It's been a very difficult couple of weeks for me (especially with the past few days) and I can feel myself slipping into a depression lately. So today, when I went for a nice ride on my bike and felt wind on my face and fresh air burning in my lungs, I was reminded that there is indeed a world out there that is beyond the prison of my chaotic thoughts and this constantly glowing screen... and that just because the computer is on does not necessarily mean that I need to be sitting in front of it.

In other words, you might not hear from me for the next few days. And hopefully, when you do, I will be living back in my home state and preparing for my last year of school and a new leg of my life's journey. Wish us luck. :-)

Hello and welcome to Day 12*. Yes, I am posting this from our new condo!

We're surrounded by boxes and totes and a general mess of scattered stuff, but the kitties and Gypsy are here and the keys are officially turned in to our old house and we are finally, finally, finally HERE! Hell yeah, baby! Just in time for me to start school on Monday... provided I can find my schedule. It's in a box somewhere. *sigh* Moving is fun, yes? Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes and good luck vibes. I'm sure we've used them for all they're worth during this past week.

So the entire move has been chaotic as hell and one thing after another has gone wrong. (You can read more about all of that over here.) Considering that we had over almost a month-and-a-half after signing the lease before we could actually set foot in this place, it wasn't quite up to our expectations/memories when we finally got the keys. (On Saturday morning, no less.. because Shitty Shawn didn't even contact us on Friday night about the keys like he said he would. Big surprise there.)

For instance, this place was waaaay more dated than we remember. We're calling it's current look "The Best of the 70s." I mean, really.. check out this lovely sink, and hey, how about these snazzy switchplates? Yeahhhhh, really takes you back, doesn't it? Woah, man.. far out!
And let me just tell you, there's nothing like going to do your laundry and then discovering a huge load of someone else's underwear in your dryer, along with that lingering smell of marijuana in your bedroom closet. (how do you get that smell out anyway? isn't 'pot smell' kind of like cat pee in its tenacity?)
So mostly it's just little things, but they are all fixable and we like to fix things so there you go. It's all good.

Dear god, I have so much work to do today. But hey, unpacking is the easy part, right? .... Um, right? ... Eh, fuck it. I'm picking out paint colors instead.

Because I have no words lately and too many actions to keep my brain busy, it's a meme night. But before I begin, I just want to say Congrats to Sporty and her meester. Best wishes to you both! :-)

Now, on with the memes!

It seems that when I have the time to sit down and write, my brain is finally empty and the words don't come. It also seems that every time I sit down here full of words, there is no time to spit them out properly. I cannot believe that school has already started. I don't feel like I ever got a break.

Hey look! This is my 400th entry! Woohoo!

So maybe it's not really a big deal, but it sounds impressive, yes?

Okay, so here's the deal. My brain is so unbelievably scattered lately that I have no idea how to begin a coherent entry or write anything of any substance. Yeah, we just went through this major life change and moved to a different state and I'm starting my last year of college and we're planning a vacation to Rhode Island/Boston on September 10th and I'll get to meet all sorts of awesome blogger friends while I'm there and I have all these new plans about what I want to do with my life and I've made all of these radical pro-animal-rights decisions lately that have changed the way I live and I'm thinking up some really wild and wonderful ways of decorating this great new space that we live in and we released one of our beloved kitties to my mom's place in the country only two weeks before we had to say goodbye to another beloved furry friend under sadder circumstances and now we're all here and we've had this crazy summer and all... BUT...

I have absolutely no idea how to tell you all of this. It's a massively jumbled chaotic mess and I have no idea where to begin.

This is where you come in.

Ask me anything. Anything you want to know. Anything at all. I'll answer it in the comments if it's a short answer and if it's not, then you'll see it in an entry. Anything you want to know about me, J., our lives, the move, our summer, the meaning of life, how to get cat piss out of carpet, whatever, you name it.

I need to write, but I have no idea where to begin. So you tell me. Whatever you want to know. Bring it on. Let's go...

I'm in a bit of a mopey mood today because of some setbacks and disappointments regarding real-life plans... so allow me to sit here and answer the questions that were posed during the last entry:

Kat asks about my new plans regarding what I want to do with my life.

Concerning my life's plan, I try not to make one. For a long time, I thought theatre and art were my do-or-die options and I've paid dearly for those decisions. Now, instead of throwing all of my eggs in one basket, I've learned to plan for the right away and the near future and let the rest work itself out. I've learned enough about life to know that there is a definite ebb and a flow to it and that if you set yourself up to have a definite do-or-die plan, then you are quickly headed for a major ulcer and loads of heartache. Life does not always work out like you had planned, so instead just do your planning in steps and learn to roll with the punches as they come. In short: it pays to be a flexible quick thinker. I've also learned that if you pass up on the things you thought you were destined to do, it's not the end of the world. If you're destined to do it, then it will come back and find you. Trust me on this.

As far as my personal plan, I intend on finishing my last year of college, graduating in May with my degree in Psychology and then heading to the east coast (or maybe the Carolinas) and starting my 'working girl life' close to the ocean and a bigger city with more opportunities and jobs. Also, if we can start to swing it financially, I'm planning on starting a year-long correspondence course soon that ends in a month-long internship mentoring under someone in my local area. After this training/internship, I would be a Certified Dog Trainer and I would also be licensed to run my own dog-training business. With an undergrad degree in Psych and a dog-training certification, I could then get my foot in the door with various Pet Therapy programs, working with abused/challenged children and pets and also making good money on the side as a professional trainer. This way, I can get on with my life and no longer have to endure school and academia - Just because I don't have a master's degree doesn't mean that I can't still help people and be successful at the same time. I am determined to prove this. Also, the pet therapy option gives me all the necessary subjects to pursue my ultimate dream of animal photograhy and selling my animal prints to the public.
I've learned that focusing on only animals or people is what's been making me feel stifled careerwise. In truth, I've really always been fascinated by ethology - the study of the relationship between humans and animals.

Want to see more questions? Keep reading...

God.. it's so much easier to just sit here on this thing than it is to get up off of my ass and do something productive.

*sigh* Click the X, Staz. Just click the X.

Dear Mercury,

Think you could get the fuck out of retrograde and quit messing up every plan I've made in the past 30 days? Otherwise, I will get medieval on your ass, big scary ball-of-fire planet or not. Remember, I am ruled by the Sun and the Sun is way bigger than you, so bite me.

So little planet, think you could stop living in the past and move your ass?

That'd be great. Thanks.

Sincerely,
Staz