Burlap Soul

Appetizer - Describe your week in one word.
Work.

Soup - Tell about a funny practical joke that you've played on someone (or that was played on you!).
Okay, this is one of my favorites ever: Back when I was in college theatre, we all decided that we were going to freak out the director with one of the props from Frankenstein. So this huge-but-very-nice-guy, Brett decided he was going to insult my clothes or something and call me a whore in front of Ed (our director) back in the dressing rooms while we were all hanging out. Then we'd just go nuts and have a big fight. So we did and when Brett called me a whore, I slapped him (which was planned) and right then Brett bit down on a fake blood capsule that had been in his mouth and started bleeding profusely, like I had totally busted his lip or something. So we act this whole thing out and we're "fighting" and fake blood is going everywhere and we look over at Ed and his jaw is totally hanging wide open in absolute horror. That's when we all lost it and busted out laughing. The minute that Ed realized we were kidding, he got pissed off and walked out. We didn't care because we couldn't stop laughing and eventually Ed got over it anyway. Yep, that's probably the best one I've done.... but there are really just too many to choose from here.

Salad - Name someone you had a crush on when you were a kid.
Corey Hart. He wears his sunglasses at night, people! He is tortured! He is deep! Oh, shut up.

Main Course - If you were a member of royalty, what would your title be?
Queen. Anything less wouldn't be enough.

Dessert - What colors are the clothes you are wearing today?
Khaki pants and a black ribbed v-neck sweater I've had for years. Love the ribbed v-necks.

I don't think anyone is more ready for Spring than me. Bring on the t-shirts, bring on the sunglasses and open windows, bring on the open Kentucky pastures, bring on graduation. Riding horseback in the sun with a braid down my back and a bachelor's degree finally on my resume, trotting toward open fields and fresh air.

I'm ready. Let's go.

I miss him already and I'm not even a religious person. That's what a wonderful figure he was for me.

"We all feel like orphans this evening," Undersecretary of State Archbishop Leonardo Sandri told the crowd of 70,000 that gathered in St. Peter's Square below the pope's still-lighted apartment windows.

Yes, I have to say that I agree. But watching the crowds in Rome gather and pray and cry together gives me hope that we are not alone.

May God hold him close tonight.. and forever.

J. and I are thinking of postponing our wedding date. We're seriously considering next May instead of this September. It just doesn't make financial sense to be booking places and clunking down money we don't really have to reserve places we're not really ecstatic about, and also running around buying wedding gowns and coordinating so much and doing everything so late in the game all while we still have serious problems making our car payment every month. So we might decide to put it off for another year so that I can start working and saving up money. It's not that there are any problems between us or that we are afraid of marriage or anything like that. It's just that we want to do it right, we want it to be a truly rockin' party, we want it to be as special as everything we've ever dreamed, and not some half-assed thing on a seriously tight budget. And really? We'd like to save up for an awesome honeymoon. Seriously - we're considering Italy. No joke. That's how we want to do this thing. Big, bold, exciting and awesome.

So if we had it in May of 2006, how many of you would still want to come?

I keep feeling bad about not posting much here lately. When I sit down to get on the computer, I'll check emails (and delete loads of trackback spam and comment spam) which takes time and then after that I'll read a few blogs and then after that it's time to do homework or start working in Photoshop for Digital Photo class. Only later, when I check on my blog from school, do I realize that I haven't posted. It's part of this wonderful complex I have wherein I believe that if I have thought about writing something or if I am thinking of a particular thought, you can suddenly read my mind and feel as if I've posted and we've already pontificated on my entry. Therefore, I have telepathically posted and you have also telepathically commented.

If my brain had a notify list, we'd be in business.

But alas, it does not. So I have thoughts and I assume that people know what's going on with me even when I have not taken the time to actually type out those thoughts and share them with you here. But I'm sure you're all telepathic, yes? I mean really, didn't your world just stop when I sent you a message from across the globe about how I am so excited about graduating and how I received my official invitations in the mail last week and the UPS guy mistook me for a high school graduate and I almost laughed out loud? I mean, you knew all about that, right? You were standing in Target picking up some detergent and maybe looking for a new pair of spring sandals and you just felt it. Right?

*sigh* Perhaps not.

Anyway, here's what's going on with me in a nutshell... just in case your Secret Decoder Staz Telepathy Ring has been broken for a while.

Quick question for you guys. As I am sitting here typing up directions and preparing my graduation invitations, I feel awkward in the sense that I would love to invite all you Blogger Buddies (whether you can come or not), but I have already used my allotted 25 invites for family.

So I'm throwing this ball into your court.

What's a graduate with a secret blogger life to do? Would you like a formal invitation or would you be content with a nice long photoblog entry once it's all said and done? Perhaps an every-hour-on-the-hour-shot to document the entire proceedings from the minute I wake up as an undergrad to the minute I go to sleep as a grad? Just some thoughts, pontifications, pensieri if you will.

Ideas are welcome, as I am ass-deep in homework and fresh out of my own.

For the next fucker that decides to get on my ass and weave back and forth like he's a damn Nascar champion warming up his tires and get red in the face and scream at me and flip me off because I choose not to go 90 mph up the damn on ramp because I am what's known as a 'safe driver' and you are what's known as an 'empty-headed asshole':

Let me assure you that not only am I smarter, tougher and better with an automobile than you, but I am THISCLOSE to taking advantage of Kentucky's wonderful new concealed weapons law. I mean, sure, there's that whole 'brandishing a firearm' thing that I would probably be arrested for, but my god, let me tell you how wonderful it would feel for me to just stare at you while you are nearly running me off the road, scaring the shit out of my dog and making me slam on my brakes on the highway, all while yelling obscenties at me and calling me every name in the book, only to wait just until you loudly mouth that vile 'C' word at me (because you always do) and then simultaneously shit your fucking pants when I pull out my .40 caliber Glock 22 and blow out all your fucking tires and leave your ass on the side of the highway.

See? That's where you go wrong when you try to intimidate a woman. We won't fight you. We won't kill you. We just care too much to do such heartless things. Dainty and compassionate creatures that we are, we'd much rather torture the living shit out of you and then point at all your shortcomings while we stand with all of our other cute little girly friends in a circle and laugh and giggle at your expense. Then we will rip your heart out, cover it in whipped cream and strawberries and giggle some more while we eat it in front of you.

You know that 'C' word you're so fond of using? Keep using it. Someday you're going to say it to a really spectacular woman that will pull you out of your car on a highway entrance ramp and explain to you exactly what it means.

But when that happens could you call and invite me? I wouldn't want to miss it for the world.

The past few days I have felt like a big sack of crap. It's most likely hormonal, but it's never been this bad before. Aches, massive fatigue, inability to think clearly, and oh yeah, I'm so damn tired I can't do anything but sleep and sleep some more. So hopefully this will pass whenever I can get some serious mental rest, but seeing as how that might not happen anytime soon, I figure I'll just hang out here for a bit instead. Truthfully, I think Burnout is settling in and this last stretch before graduation is going to hurt royally. I swear, I've worked so hard this semester at keeping my grades up, my morale up, my motivation up and I think it's catching up with me. I have this terrible fear that after graduation, I'm going to crash so bad that I won't want to begin looking for a job for another six months. See what college does to you? It makes mindless drone employment seem like a freakin' cakewalk. A distant and overwhelming cakewalk, nonetheless, but still a cakewalk.

On to other things...

In response to the comments on this entry:

So, let me get this straight. Under absolutely no circumstances am I to take any photographs of my graduation day? And even more imperative is that I absolutely, positively DO NOT share them here at all? Correct?

Yes, I am totally kidding. You guys rock. After all of the festivities are over and everyone has gone home, you can expect an awesome photoblog entry from me covering the big day. Promise.

*sigh* Blech. This isn't working. Body still aches, throat still scratchy, brain still depleted. Back to the couch for me I fear... or a meme. I don't know which would be worse. But I think it's obvious I'm not heading back to the couch. There's only so many hours of pre-6:00 news that I can stand. And really, why must everything be Live On Location nowadays? Do you even have a building anymore? Or is everything just reported from a constantly moving news van loaded with microphones, umbrellas and matching trenchcoats? Seriously, people. Sit still. You're making me nauseous.

To the end of my days, I will call it "pop" and why in the world isn't there a question about a "holler"?

Oh well.... looks like for all my edumakashun, I'm still 35% Dixie, honey.

I think school is slowly making me insane.

I'd tell you more, but I have homework to do.

*sigh*

I'm crying right now. That's how bad it's gotten for me. School is not only stressing me out to the point that I am becoming almost violent in my mood swings, but it's breaking my spirit. Three weeks before graduation and that's honestly something that I didn't think could happen this late in the game. Believe it or not, this is actually not the hardest semester I've ever had (that was last Spring), but it is the most challenging in the sense that anything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong every single day... over and over again.

Emails not received by my professors, assignments not done correctly, assignments done correctly but somehow magically disappearing right when I need to turn them in, entire Photoshop files vanishing into thin air only hours after I'd burned them onto cds and printed them out, instructions that are just not making it into my brain in the proper fashion, horrid nightmares night after night that keep me from sleeping, every single minute of every single day accounted for between here and May 7th. No time for breath. No time for sleep. No time for me.

Add to that the constant phone calls from people wanting to know what kind of food/drinks/games/decorations/hotels/directions/activities we have planned for my graduation party weekend. What the hell? When I say, "Talk to J. I'm focusing on school. He's in charge of party stuff, go through him." Is that somehow too vague for you? Am I not conveying the correct message that if you ask me another damn question about fruit dip or balloons, I might very well snap your entire fucking head off? Literally? Take a hint, people. There will be no damn graduation party if I do not fucking graduate.

I was having such a good day today. An awesome day. Bad nightmares all night and a horrible lack of sleep as a result, but I woke up feeling good and I was actually awake and alert in all my classes and then this photoshop project that I was working on in class actually came out better after all and I printed it out and it rocked and I was all proud of my work and then I got home and somehow everything just went to shit. What the hell is going on? Finals aren't for another 2 weeks and I'm already half out of my mind. All I can do is just sit here and either rage or cry. I know I can do it. I know I can get over this hump of insanity and stress, but my god, the days are crawling and flying by at the same time. How is that even possible?

I am so close to losing my entire mind. Send me a good thought or bring me some black cherry ice cream in a waffle cone or make funny faces at me. I don't care. I need stupid comfort in a bad, bad way.

There's a twisted and sleep-deprived entry over at the photolog if you're interested. If not, I'm too delirious to care at this point so I don't know what to tell you.

Has anyone seen my brain? I seem to have lost it on the turnpike somewhere... along with my eyeballs and my sanity.

Nite-nite.

Before I get started Photoshopping for the day, allow me to share with you some wonderful memage.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Name something that helps you fall asleep.
J., thunderstorms, reading

Soup
Who brings out the best in you?
Animals, it's never people for some reason

Salad
What do you like to do on a rainy day?
Well, it's raining today and I'm getting ready to begin my now-daily Photoshopping For Finals marathon. But usually, I like to just sleep, read, or listen to music while I hang out on the computer and blog. I love rainy days.

Main Course
Complete this sentence: In our home, we never have enough...
time.

Dessert
Which shoe do you put on first?
The right. It's an old superstition that I began following when I was 12 and now I am physically incapable of starting with the left foot anymore. Yes, I know.

And my Photo Friday submission. This week's topic is "soft"...

I now only have one photoshopped print to finish and I have to say that I'm mostly happy with my work so far.

But just to let you in on the mindframe of a frazzled grad in the last two weeks of Finals Insanity, I pulled up a kitchen chair to our front door and Got My Poetry On just for you.

It's just a matter of time before my Pulitzer arrives in the mail. Don't you think?

(complete words below)

We drink entirely too much iced tea around here. It's my favorite drink ever, so that would be why. Although, since I've been crazy enough to stay up until 4am every night only to be in class by 8am for the past four years, we recently made the decision to switch to decaf. I mean, really, it's not like I was going to quit drinking iced tea. I just needed to stop bouncing off the walls at 2am.

However, after so many years of drinking iced tea non-stop and not having dental insurance, I now have some lovely tea-teeth. All nice and yellowed and stained around the edges and on my canines. So in an effort to make my smile a little nicer for graduation, I am now sitting here with Crest Whitestrips glued to my teeth for the first time.

Ugh. Now I remember why I want to graduate and start working so badly: Dental Insurance. I'd much rather have someone scrub my bicuspids with that nice pumice-type stuff than feel as though someone has placed two giant wet socks over my upper and lower teeth for half an hour twice a day. Please tell me that these things will work by graduation (14 days!).

I'm seriously pining for that dental vacuum thing right now. The drooling is getting out of hand.

*slurp*

My Final Art Critique from Hell for Digital Photo class is now done, displayed, critiqued and turned in. I can get on with my life now... once I get rid of the massive photoshop files that are causing my computer to smoke when it switches screens. ... And after I take a 36 hour nap.

Oh yeah. Wanna see?

I just randomly checked my little graduation counter over there on the left.

And promptly peed my pants.

Singledigits!Singledigits!Singledigits!Singledigits!!!!!!

OMGROTFLMAO!!1111

Single digits are "teh coolest!"

So what was the #1 song on the day you were born?

Me: I just want to be your everything - Andy Gibb (shutup)
J.: The Morning After (theme from the Poseidon Adventure) - Maureen McGovern (I had to pull this up on iTunes because I'd never heard of it and man, is it horrible!)

Your life's theme song (which is the #1 song on your 18th birthday):
Me: Waterfalls - TLC (haaaaa hahahahahahaaaaaa)
J.: Everything I do (I do it for you) - Bryan Adams (again, haaaa hahahahahaaaaa)

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Which keys do you have on your key chain?
Condo building key, key to our actual condo, mailbox key, key to our storage facility, car key (with keyless entry fob), key to my mom's house, and and two padlock keys that I have completely forgotten what they go to

Soup
What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
Sign up for a photography class when I didn't even own a camera. It was obviously destiny, as a friend suddenly had a very nice camera I could borrow and it changed my life forever.

Salad
Who is the best cook in your family?
Probably a tie between my grandmother and my aunt.

Main Course
If you were to write a "how-to" book, what would the title be?
How to be in on the joke of life and still like yourself in the morning by Anna Stazia

Dessert
Name a recent fad you've tried.
Blogging. ;-)

But wait... there's more! With live torch-passing and stuff!