Burlap Soul

Did I mention that we're home? Well, we are. And it's taken me nearly three days to recover enough just to tell you that. Last night I slept for 13 hours and I'm still hearing the cacophony of family, friends and acquaintances voices in my head. Not to mention that I'm having trouble typing, as my fingers have forgotten how to do anything but hold a steering wheel - or a beagle.

Speaking of Gypsy, she did remarkably well. We are so proud of her. An entire 15 hours in the car without benadryl. (The first five were with benadryl, but we realized that was a bad idea as she didn't really need it and just ended up dopey all day.) Plus, she got some good playtime with other family dogs and enjoyed the beautifully quiet and snow-covered Michigan wilderness. Still, like all of us, she was glad to get home.

We straightened out some wedding possibilities with family members and silently panicked when everyone started to ask us where to stay and we had no idea, as we still have no reception site booked - and are unable to do so as I still don't have a job. So you'll have to excuse me for the day, as I'm trying desperately to take care of that one asap. *panics* then *updates resume* Happy um... Thursday? Yeah, I think that's it. *questions* (Note to self: Upload those freakin' smilies, already!)

Today we attended an orientation and then, having been "orientated," commenced with our newest activity: volunteering for a local no-kill animal shelter. We could only stay for a short while after the orientation, but I have to say that it was nice. Today we had to focus solely on kitties because we weren't officially trained to handle the dogs, but that was fine with us. J. and I both enjoyed just sitting in these awesome kitty rooms and playing, petting and socializing them a bit. I also love the fact that I don't have to commit to any certain number of hours, just show up and do what I can when I can. Plus, this particular shelter encourages you to have favorites, as that's a way to guarantee that every cat gets lots of socialization. Rock on.

My reasoning for all of this? The only actual work experience on my resume is pharmacy and frankly, that sucks. Not because I didn't like pharmacy when I did it all those years in college, but it's not what I went to school for, it's not what I busted my ass getting a degree in, and it's not really even what I want to do with my life. I want to do companion animal training, I want to be with the animals, I want to do animal photography, I want to be an animal behaviorist. And for some reason, I am not getting those calls. The only job calls I'm getting are pharmacy and it's so unbelievably frustrating because not only does it not pay well, but nearly every job offer I've had has been some mail-order pharmacy nearly an hour's drive away. Suck! And the thing that makes me crazy is that nearly every time, they will see only my pharmacy experience and nothing else. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "So what have you been doing since 2000?" Um, dude. Check the top of the page. Bachelor's Degree attained in 2005. Yo. What, you think that degree just got itself? Wake up, people.

So anyway, job-hunt tangent aside, I am doing this so that I can gain some valuable experience that isn't pharmacy. Something that gets me in the door with animals. Something that gets me kennel experience and allows me to work with training and socializing dogs and cats, as that's what I want to pursue long-term. Man, if I'd known that so many people were just going to look at my work experience, I would've never even bothered with college. Brains? We don't need that. What have you done? Grrrr.... (I've been attaining braaaaaains, dumbass!)

So I'm officially a volunteer. Cool. Really though, I'm just lucky enough to have someone that wants to do it alongside me... and with lots of love. :-)

Notice what's in the top three and then notice how far down Psych is on the list. *sigh* Now you tell me....

Dude, I never thought I'd have so much in common... with a sable. Though I also got wolf and penguin... whaaa?

Here, see for yourself. (Stolen from the lovely Firda.)

I have to confess. Ever since I was a little kid, I've always loved Puss in Boots. (And to answer your next question: No, I haven't seen Shrek 2.) I had all the Puss in Boots coloring books, the story books, everything. So naturally it was just a matter of time before I ended up with a Puss in Boots layout. And really, a talking cat that took care of everyone's problems and wore kick-ass boots? Made for me, sugar.

In other news, I start my new job on Tuesday. It's not amazing, but it's temp-to-hire and it gets me some wedding funds. So maybe finally I can start planning some wedding stuff and sleep again instead of just thinking about how behind we are and panicking all damn night. Seriously, last night I had a dream that we were in a hotel talking to a possible vendor and this guy tells me to walk around the corner and see the "dance floor." It was a wet, muddy hole in the ground and the guy turns to me and says, "It was all we could come up with at this late date, but it's only thirteen hundred dollars," and then he grinned and handed me a contract to sign as his eyes turned red and he morphed into the devil.

Issues? Nope. Not me. Wishing for talking cats in clothing to show up is perfectly normal.

Got up early, showered, walked dog, fed cats, stopped for a very unhealthy fast food lunch, volunteered at the shelter for an hour or two, started the search for work clothes, stopped at Petsmart for dog treats and petted so many cute dachsund mix puppies, bought a pair of pants on clearance for ten bucks at Soul Suckers Inc the mall and then found six awesome new shirts at Goodwill (all for under 20 bucks, mind you), took a call from my dad that has hope and a little bit of nervous anxiety, made dinner (sauteed veggie subs), watched tv with J., went to Value City to look for work shoes only to find that they were closed early for inventory, came home, watched more tv with J. while he slept in the floor, got online, ended up here.

It seems so small in a single paragraph, like it couldn't have possibly all happened in fifteen hours. Like I couldn't possibly be this tired. Like I should've done more. But wait... that's next week when I start the new job. Right now, it's just a matter of getting the little things done so that we can finally just sit at home for a weekend, start a fire and watch a movie on the couch with our furry ones fighting for blanket space. After the crazy-ass week I've had, I could only dream of such bliss.

This has been a delightful weekend, full of blissful relaxation and reconnection time with him. Saturday was spent attending our dog orientation at the shelter and then volunteering for a bit after that. (Also, Saturday marks the first time I've ever actually been physically dragged by a dog on a leash. Not pulling, my friends, but physically dragging me through the mud like a bad Stooges film. Fun!) Saturday night was spent watching another indie film by a crackling fire and quoting the "I'm a stalker in a Taurus" line all night. Sunday was spent enjoying the unbelievably warm weather by first dropping J. off at Sunday mass and then enjoying some good time with Gypsy in the dog park. Then we enjoyed some Waffle House (our newest addiction) and caught up on the Sunday paper while watching the AKC dog show and the rest of our Sunday night tv lineup. Today? J. called in sick and played hooky just for me. We went and seriously stocked up on groceries, opting only for healthy things and learning how to make sack lunches for someone that's both picky and vegetarian. And then we laughed as we realized how many vegetables we got and how absolutely packed our fridge is and then what an awesomely wonderful problem that is to have, you know? That's a rare one for us on any day. I also finished up another pet bed for the furry ones too. We just now got back from my mom's for a bit (as I needed to borrow her iron) and wind-down time has commenced.

The reason for such a wonderfully paced and slow weekend? Tomorrow I start my new job and I expect things to pick up quite quickly from there. At least on the schedule and chaos front. The money front? Well, I just wish it were already here. ;-) Happy week everyone. Wish me luck.

Yesterday I volunteered at the animal shelter for nearly three hours. It passed by quicker than five minutes at the job. I know jobs aren't supposed to be fun, but should they really be this damn boring? Constantly?

Completely unrelated but just as pressing: how do I get my photos shown in a gallery? I was so busy getting a degree in a "practical" field and denying my love of art that I seem to have missed that class. Do I need to have a portfolio? (Duh, but details?) An artist's statement? Connections? Balls?

Just curious. As I am 28 years old and so fucking tired of denying what I want to do for the "practical" road. And I'll be damned if I'm going to end this year in another dead end job wearing a headset and leaving annoying voicemails for egomaniacal doctors all damn day. Good God, I'd give anything for a different start in life right about now.

As you can see, I'm not in a great headspace.

A lovely meme of fours, tagged to me by the even lovelier Kat.

Four Jobs You’ve Had
1. Cashier at a grocery store
2. Pharmacy Technician
3. Bundling newspapers on a factory line
4. ----- Still working on that one

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. Groundhog Day (ironic, yes?)
3. Planes, Trains and Automobiles ("You're going the wrong way!")
4. Winged Migration

Four Places You’ve Lived
1. In a trailer in Eastern Kentucky
2. In an apartment on a college campus
3. In a real apartment in Detroit with a boy
4. In a house in the suburbs of Cincinnati

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch
1. Medium
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Rescue Me
4. The Daily Show/Colbert Report

Four of Your Favorite Books
1. The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King
2. The Stand by Stephen King
3. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
4. Dune by Frank Herbert

Four Places You’ve Been On Vacation
1. The West (a.k.a. Montana, Wyoming and back)
2. Cape Hatteras, NC
3. New York City
4. Mackinac Island, MI

Four Websites You Visit Daily
1. Yahoo News Page
2. Too many blogs to list
3. Gmail
4. The animal rescue site

Four of Your Favorite Foods
1. Cheese
2. Cheese
3. Fruit
4. Italian and Mexican

Four Places You Would Rather Be Right Now
1. Mackinac Island
2. Outside
3. At a new and exciting job
4. In a new house

Four Bloggers You Are Tagging
1. Whoever
2. Wants
3. It
4. Really

Happy Saturday all... :-)

I suppose I should tell you that I had yet another false start at yet another crappy job. I also suppose that I should tell you that unless there is some sort of a cash-falling-from-the-sky miracle, there will be no wedding for us this year. Another thing I should probably mention is how absolutely tired I am of sounding like a broken record of 'once again, it's not happening' and 'it's been postponed again because we're broke.' I know we're really sick of it, so I'm sure you are too.

All I can tell you in order to explain any of this or the hows or the whys is that for as far as we've come financially, we are still sub-par with everyone else. That is to say that for everything that we start, there is something else that we can't finish that will always hold us back. It's the same reason that I always ask for people's new addresses, but never got around to mailing the holiday cards. There was just enough money to see people in person rather than spend it on stamps. One or the other, we always have to choose. You can get your prescription refill or get the animals their shots, but not both. You can buy a bridal magazine and dream about a wedding you may or may not have or you can have gas in your car to take you to a job you may or may not keep, either/or. I suppose this is the normal process for anyone making choices on a budget, but for us it has just become a way of life. We are used to choosing between the phone bill or the heating bill and then paying half of whatever we choose. It's not even depressing or worrisome anymore. It's just life.

So I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that I really didn't want to tell you how much is not happening for us yet again this year. And how much I am saddened and hurt by it all, but also how I am just absolutely not surprised. And how somehow that is what hurts most of all.

An iTunes meme, stolen from the Empress.

Total number of tracks: 919

Sort by song title:
* First Song: 'Cause I love you - Johnny Cash (apostrophes come first apparently)
* Last Song: Your Lips - Olu Dara

There's a late-night and photo-ridden semi-introspective* entry over at the photolog. If you have a chance, I'd appreciate your input. Happy Wednesday.

* Admit it. You envy my mad run-on adjective abilities.

The wonderful, beautiful Kat's engaged! I love the proposal story, so hysterical.

Congratulations to you, beautiful girl. You deserve every ounce of happiness you get. Mwah!

Just when we started to have a plan regarding a wedding and we were all excited about the fact that not only could it actually happen this time, but also for the fact that I might be starting a new cool job this week that could help make that wedding happen...

Just when all that optimism is in the air again, J. loses his job.

*sigh*

Mr. Rollercoaster? I'd really like to get off now. This stopped being cute years ago and now I'm just feeling a little sick.

There's some new random stuff over at the Flickr account. Nothing earth-shattering. Just random stuff I didn't feel like uploading to the photoblog. Remember, those are protected too so if you have a flickr account, let me know and I'll add you as a friend so you can see them.

In other news, I'm going to the doctor in about an hour. On top of everything else that's (not) going on, it seems that I also have the plague. Wonderful.

So how is your Monday?